Friday, May 26, 2006

beginnings

This is my maiden voyage. I have no map, just apprehension and curiosity at this point. I was really trying to respond to a post I found fascinating and it led me to setting up my own site. Yesterday was my birthday. I'm quite proud of myself as I recently finished taking 2 classes at the University to renew my teaching license. I've never taught. Worked for years in political landscapes and non-profits while raising 4 daughters. My brain is currently captivated by the idea of writing. I landed back at school by way of recognition that I want to explore this new idea for myself. Not teaching - wanting to write. I guess this is as good a place as any to try it. I have wondered if one has to be read to be a writer? I don't think so. It is hard not to be fearful. I hope some day to be able to identify my own dangling modifiers and sentence fragments, but for now, I don't think they matter much.

How does one start this? Knitting is the connection... but how did I get here? My life is changing fast. Four girls ranging in age from 21 to 8. The difference between letting go and hanging on. The oldest, headstrong and graceful, is poised to leave at the end of summer for a year of study in Spain. She and her boyfriend look like matching candlesticks, tall and lanky, as they walk down my driveway. She's ready - am I? My second, returning from her first year of college, leaves clothing and dirty dishes in her wake. She's straddling her new and old senses of self, changing too quickly for both of us to keep up with. I love having her home again. I recognize how quickly her experiences are leading her away. This is how it is supposed to be. I am relieved, proud, scared, hopeful and confused about my daughters' emergence. My third daughter, eternally described as "a delight", loves her cello and the ending of middle school. Her summer will be a flurry of activity midst a travelling pack of teenaged girls... My youngest is 8. I know how to do 8. Scraped knees and tattered friendships easily comforted by a hug or a kiss. I am a very fortunate woman. 21 years and counting at the summer swimming pool.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home